Characters:

Sebashtain Clemintine

Gilbert Gusher

Dr. Robert Eyefish

Ducky Rub

Mrs. RappleApplesteinGreen

Snoop Dogg

S: Oh boy I can't believe daddy let us go out in the forest to go hunting!!

G: Yeah your daddyth real nicth

S: I think I dun heard something in the distance CROUCH`1

*long pause to hear what was going on*

G: Maybe it was the the wind or a breeth

S: I hope it was something to bring back to Fernie

G: Whoths Fernie?

S: Fernie is my cat dang nabbit (screaming)

G: Well jees i'm thorry

S: Yeah you better be you almost hurteted my feelings *crying tone* STAND

G: Hey remember when you almosth died because you almost shot yourself!

S: Dat ain't funny Gilbert

G: HAAHAHA

S: You-you-you know what your a bully and I dont like it (pushes Gilbert and Sebashtain falls)

G: Really?

S: Momma always said I need to get my anger out somehow

G: Okay well how about we find something to get it out

S: Well I can shoot something to get it out

G: Yeah okay... sureeee

S: Oh it's a rat lookin thangy over there

G: i dont think that's what you think it is

S: then what do you think it is?

G: to be honest i don't even know what that is

S: Oh well i'm just gonna shoot it anyway

G: Okay!! Just be careful

S: *Shoots and grazes Gilbert's head taking hair off of his head*

G I think the bullet thangyis heading my way *confused* OH IT HEADING MY WAY

S: get down!

G: Why is it taking so long *Touches hair* oh its gots my hair it like burned off

S:HAHAHA that was fun let's do it again * attempts to shoot again but Gilbert pushes the gun down*

G: How about we not shoot it again please

S: Okay!! *makes front teeth pop out

G: I'm going to the bathroom

S: lemme go with you

G: what no don't

S: No i want to go to

G: *deep breath* You know what nevermind

S: Yeah nevermind *boastful*

G: Let's actually find something

S:Let's ask them for help *looks at audience* do you want to help us find... what were we looking for?

G: Something to hunt

S: *looks at audience* nevermind

G: I think I see an animal

S:No i don't think it is

G: Then what is it

S: Oh snap look it's a flutter creature of some sorts. I'm just gonna shoot it

G WAIT

*shoots* *falls back due to the power of the gun*

G: oh gosh Sebashtain are you okay

S:*in a light English accent* I think i'm quite alright Gilbert

G: HA you funny buddy you got a funny accent thing. Oh you like sound one of em smart people

S: Indeed you are quite right Gibert I am indeed intellectually advanced

G: *jaw is dropped* woah

S: Woah is correct. I was a what you call a imbecile or a "bird brain"

G: I don't like you like this Sebashtain I like old Sebashtain

S: Well i'm sorry my dear Gilbert but this is the new and improved me now let's go hunt.

G: *while Sebashtain is walking Gilbert is trying to hit him on the head again to make him normal*

S: *bends down to pick up* Wow look at this lovely Lepidoptera

G: *misses and hits himself*

S: What an astonishing creature!

*hits sebashtain*

*after being knocked out he gets up*


S: Golly i'm glad i'm not smart no more


G: We need to take to the hospital or something!


S: No Sir Gilbert I think i'm quite alright.


G: *talks to himself* How can I get him to sleep and I can just drag him to the hospital?

*has an idea and points* *awkwardly punches Sebashtain and Sebashtain falls to the floor unconscious* *Gilbert drags Sebashtain off stage*


(they arrive at a Hotel not a hospital)


Gilbert has Sebashtain in his arms and drops him because he is weak from carrying him


(Gilbert wakes up)


S: What has occured dear Gilbert?


G:*Punch Sebastian* He's not back to normal we need a nurse!!


Snoop: I'll take him


G: *squints* Are you Snoop Dogg?


Snoop: Indeed, I am and i'm here to help your friend too


G: Wait aren't we supposed to be at a hospital?


Snoop: I don't know but I can take you in my Cadillac


G:Let's go!


Snoop: Okay we arrived. Anything else you want me to help you with


Gilbert: Yeah can you help me bring Sebashtain inside?


Snoop: Ok 1,2,3!!


*snoop tries to pick him up but he is too weak so he drops him*


Gilbert: you okay there snoop can you lift him up?


Snoop: Yeah i can!


*snoop is hyping himself up*


Snoop: I can DO THIS WHOS THE MAN I AM I'M THE MAN NOW LET'S GO!!

*Snoop can barely pick up sebashtain but is really trying*


THEY EXIT

NEXT SCENE


Sebastian: Did they fix me yet? Am I all better??


Dr. Eyefish: Yes.. Well that's what I hope right???


Gilbert: You're the doctor right? You should know


Dr. Eyefish: I don't know I barely passed med school


Gilbert: What can I do to fix him?


Dr. Eyefish: Here is some medicine to help him. I think


Gilbert: At this point we'll try anything so i'll take it.


Dr: Great That'll be 10 pesos


Gilbert: I have a racoon hat will you take that?


Dr: That'll do Mr.....


Gilbert: Gusher. My name is Gilbert Gusher


Dr: Like the snacks Gushers?


Gilbert; Yes *turns to the audience in a normal voice "Hey, ___ here if you use my code GUSHERFANBOY56 you can get 40% discount on every 3 Gusher box you buy


Dr: What was that?


Gilbert: What was what?


Dr. The thing you just did just now....


Gilbert: I'm not sure what you mean but we are going to leave and hopefully this will work


Snoop: To the Caddy!


THEY EXIT DOC STAYS BEHIND


Sebashtain is in the bed groggy


Sebashtain: Golly i had the weirdest dream ever! You were there and Snoop Dogg was there!!! You know i like some Snoop Doggy Dog


Snoop: You called my name? Oh it's you Sebashtain! Whats up man!

*reaches out to give him a handshake*


*Sebashtain passes out*


Snoop: Did i do something?


Gilbert: No he's just a really big fan of you


Snoop: But you guys are country boys i thought you liked Brad Paisley and Jason Aldean and you guys do this dance thing that's super funny


Gilbert: Yeah those are every Saturday nights. ANYWAYS


Snoop: Okay well i'll try not to freak him ou-


Sebashtain wakes up


S: I had this crazy dream and Snoo- *passes out*


G: *sits down* I can' take this


S: Maybe call Ms. RappleApplesteinGreen


G: Good idea! *

Hello? Yes can you come over?

Ok we will-


Rapple: Oh my gosh my baby!!

*touches Sebashtain*


Sebashtain: Who is TOUCHING ME I SWEAR IF IT'S MS- get off ME

Gilbert: Finally we have him back


Rapple: My baby are you okay my goodness how could they do this to you !


Gilbert: You job is done here Ms.RappleApplesteinGreen


Rapple: But is he going to be okay?


Gilbert: Yes he is taking medicine for it


Snoop; Hey umm Tupac is outside and he wants to meet Sebashtain


Gilbert; I thought he was dead?


Snoop: No he's been living it up in the Bahamas vibing ya feel?


Sebashtain rolls off the bed and runs towards the door


Seb: TUPAC??


Snoop: Yeah he's got the Porsche ready to go


Sebashtain: Okay let's head out then!!


Snoop: Oh yeah one more thing.I'm Snoop Doggy Dog


*reaches for handshake again*


Sebashtain: Yeah i know who you are!


Both handshake and Sebashtain finally realized what he said and faints again due to being starstruck.


Gilbert picks him up


G: Okay lets go.. Wait where are we going..


Snoop; CUE IT


California Love starts playing and they ex


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CLHS |CLHS doesn't have the right to these monologues | created by Braden Downing and jesse massari
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